Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famousartist.
She told the artist, "Paint me with 3- carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red rubypendant."
"But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband ishaving an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marryher, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
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