sexy Quotes 2

• Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.

• Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......shortsweet and cheap!

• I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

• Men are like bagpipes... you won’t get anywhere unless you blow themfirst!

• My pregnant girlfriend reminds me of a burned cake. I wish I had removedit a minute earlier.

• I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes.

Do a mouse a favour... Eat a Pussy!

• When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play withboys!

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

• The Five Sizes of Penises: 1. Small, 2. Medium, 3. Large, 4. Oh My God!,and 5. Is that available in white?

• Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up and man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him and says: Pay you monthly,you bastard!

• Ladies Hostel Caught Fire... It took 1 hour to bring the fire undercontrol...and 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.

• One car salesmen complained to the other, "Business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass."Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language."That's okay," the blonde replied, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'mgoing to lose my fucking car."

• Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touchher anywhere he likes?A: Lifebuoy.•

Q: How do we know men invented maps?
A: Who else would turn an inch into a mile!

• 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.
Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!