Monday, April 21, 2008

Dating

WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to make love but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and make love
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and make love

ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You make love, she wants to marry you & insists on a -caratring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought ofmaking love.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head
.Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happensagain.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realizednothing is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and makelove in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant
.Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, hisgirlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma,her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's Boyfriendand his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest ofyour life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home alongthe Tijuana strip

.ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,Friends and entire arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...