Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Software engineer and his wife

Software engineer and his wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.


Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer .

Monday, February 22, 2010

what's the reason for the celebration

 
Three blondes are celebrating their success in a pub.

The bartender asks them: "Girls, what's the reason for the celebration?"

One of the blondes responds: "Well, we just finished this puzzle and it took us only a month, while the box indicated: 3 to 6 years!"...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A blonde calls her husband on his cellphone.

A blonde calls her husband on his cellphone.
Blonde: "I've got a problem!"
Husband: "Tell me."
Blonde: "I've just bought a puzzle, but I can't solve it!"
Husband: "Is it that difficult?"
Blonde: "Yes, I don't know where to start; all pieces look similar!"
Husband: "What's the image on the cover of the box?"
Blonde: "A red cock, but I really can't solve it."
Husband: "Wait a minute, I'll be right there and we will solve it together!"
...
A few minutes later the husband walks in.
Husband: "And where is this puzzle of yours?"
Blonde: "It's right her on the table..."
Deep silence falls, and then a sigh...
Husband: "Okay, we will do the following: you'll put all cornflakes back into the box and I'll forget the complete incident."

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Indian maths can any there to slove ?

1.) SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA = UNEMPLYOMENT .

2.) An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com...

3.) Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.

4.) 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = 4 minute song in Hindi movie.

5.) Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials.

6.) Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan -Talent.

7.) Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan

8.) 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda

9.) 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan

10.) 1 person + straight hair + unstraight walk = Sanjay dutt

11.) 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol

12..) One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred Relatives + A house bigger
than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya'sFilm.

13.) One man + one woman = Isha Deol

14.) Time waste - time = Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi

15.) Boring songs + heavy dialogues + Bogus dressing = Devdas

16.) New heroes + New heroins = a flop movie

17..) Old heroes + new heroins = a blunder

18.) Old heroes + old heroins = timepass

19.) action - suspense + comedy - thrill - story - clothes = Indiansuperhit movie

20.) Do aur do paanch = Indian algebra
1 Lady - 1 Brain = Aishwarya Rai
1 Lady - 1/2 Clothes = Mallika Sherawat
1 Lady + 1 Buffalo = Yana Gupta

Sunday, February 7, 2010

How To Become A Dad

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied.


At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.


'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. '

'Exactly' I replied back with a big smile on my face.