Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Telephone bill - this is a classic


The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...



Dad:
People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.



Mum:
Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.



Son:
Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.



Maid:
So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones !!!!!

What is recession?

What is recession?

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.

He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.

He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.

His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.

But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.

He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.

His sales and profit went up.

He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.

He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.

He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"

The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.

He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.

Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand.

And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.

The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".

"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

MORAL OF THE STORY: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number).

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) " I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."

Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so, on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of

Palm beach , Florida ."

Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive

spirit and would like to offer you a job."

Boy : "No thanks,

Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.

Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at

the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call

"Self Appraisal"

rejected loan

In 1980, IDBI bank rejected loan for Ambani.




now 2008, Mukesh Ambani was planning to buy IDBI bank.




this shows nothing is impossible...





now in 2009, HDFC bank rejected loan for me...



but in 2020, I'm planning to....





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Apply for loan

again!

a indian lion

In a poor zoo of India , a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. One day the lion thought its prayers were answered when a US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to a US zoo. The lion was pleased and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely, for breakfast.

It opened the bag quickly but was shocked to see that it contained only a few bananas. Controlling its anger, the lion thought that maybe they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently
shifted from India . The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

Now the lion was furious. It stopped the delivery boy and blasted him, “Don’t you know, I am the lion...King of the Jungle....What's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you
delivering bananas to me ?"
The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the King of the Jungle but....do you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

Moral: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere...

nobody was around

Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins.

When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the priest, "Father, I am sinful."

"Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you."

"Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her."

"That's bad my boy. Fortunately, you realize your mistake."

"Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues. So, I slept with her too."

"That's not very good of you."

"Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too."

"Father?.... ..... Father?"

Suddenly, this guy realized that there was no response from the Father. He walked over and discovered that the priest was not there. So, he began searching for him. "Father? Where are you?"

He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. "Father, why are you hiding here?"

"Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me."



Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sweet Hindi SMS 1

Kabhi kabhi in ankho main nami se hoti hai
Kabhi kabhi in honto pe hansi si hoti hai
Ae dost woh tumhi ho jisse meri zindgi, zindgi si hoti hai

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Mann me apke har baat rahegi,
Basti chhoti hai magar aabaad rahegi,
Chahe hum bhulade zamane ko,
Magar aapki ye pyari si dosti hamesha yaad rahegi...

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D- DASTAK BHI NA DE.
O- OR APNA BANA LE.
S- SARI JINDEGI JO SATH DE.
T- TAKDIR JO SAWAAR DE.
I- ISI RISTYE KO DOSTI KEHTE HAI.

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Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
Visit mastiz.net for Interesting and Sweet Jokes Don't Miss the Fun!
Sweet Jokes
Sweet SMS
Sweet Quotes
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