Wednesday, December 29, 2010

first golf lesson

 

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do.

The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.

The pro said "Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard grip the club gently as you would your husband's penis.".

The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway.

The pro said "That was excellent!! Let's try it again, only this time take the club out of your mouth."

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also blonde.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

TOP TEN jokes for 2010

Baba Saxidas Se Unke Ek Bhakt Ne Pucha

Bhakt: “Baba Ladkiya Hamesha Phoolon Wali Panty Hi Kyu Pahnti Hai?”

Baba Saxidas: “Bacha Simple, Taki chooot Se Badbu Na Aaye“




Santa Ki Shadi Hui Par Suhagrat Mein Kya Krna Hote Hai Ye Usko Pata Nahi Thha.

Vo Apne Daddy Ke Pass Jaata Aur Puchta Hai Ki Kya Karu

Daddy: “Rat Ko Mujhe Phone Kriyo Aur Jaise Main Kahoon Vaise Hi Kriyo.”

Raat Ke 1.30 Baje Daddy Ko Phone Ata Hai.

Santa: “Daddy Batao Kya Karna Hai?”

Daddy: “Dulhan Ke Aur Apne Kapde Utar.”

Santa: “Fir?”

Daddy: “Dulhan Ki Taango K Beech Me Ched (Hole) Dikh Raha Hoga Tujhe?”

Santa: “Hanji Daddy Dikh Raha Hai”

Daddy: “Ab Jo Mere Paas Bhi Hai Aur Tere Paas Bhi Hai Vo Us Ched Mein Daal De”

Santa Ne Apna Mobile Hi Patni Ki chooot Mein Daal Diya




Santa Ko Thane Mein Laya Gaya, Aur Police Inpector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya Gaya

Inspector: “Tumne Is Bechare Bikhari Ko Itna Kyu Maara?”

Santa: “Mene Isko Kitni Baar Bola Ki Main Aisa Waisa Aadmi Nahi Hoon, Fir Bhi Sala Bolta Hai, Ek Baar De De Baba“




Baba Saxidas Bhakto Ko Gayan De Rahe Thhe Bole

“Bachho Bra Aur Baniyan Mein Kya Antar Hota Hai Ye Aaj Main Batane Jaa Raha Hun”


“Baniyan Mein Kapda Jayada Hota Hai Aur Weight Kam, Aur Bra Mein Kapda Kam Aur Weight Jayada Hota Hai“




TV Pe Ek Cooking Show Chal Raha Tha. Usmein Ek Lady Cook Host Thhi

Lady Cook: “Bahno Aaj Main Aapko Salad Banana Sikhaungi”

Sabse Pahle Ek Moti Mooli Le

Agar Maja Aa Raha Hai To Leti Rahe

Salad Banana Hum Fir Kabhi Sikh Lenge






Baba Saxidas Se Kisi Ne Pucha Ki “Why Women Are More Hot Than Men?”

Baba Saxidas Ne Technically Samjhaya: “Because Men Have 2 Zero Watt Bulbs & One 40 Watt Tube, Where As Women Have Two 500 Watt Bulbs & One 3000 Watts Oven.“





Maa Baap Apne 6 Saal Ke Bete Se: “Beta So Ja Nahi To Bhoot Aa Jayega”

Beta: “Aap Logo Ko To Bas Chudayi Ka Bahana Chahiye, Bhoot Ne Yaha Aake Kya Maa Chudvani Hai“





Ek Tharki Aadmi Baba Saxidas Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: “Baba Ji, Main Bahut Tharki Hun, Mujhe Nangi Ladkiya Dekhne Ka Bada Shonk Hai, Koi Esa Upay Batao Ki Main Ye Kam Marne Ke Bad Bhi Kar Saku”

Baba Saxidas Bole: “Bacha Ye Kaam To Bada Hi Asan Hai, Jake Apni Aankhein Donate Kar Do.“





Santa Ko Ek Din Hichki Aayi Aur Sath Mein Uska Lund Bhi Khada Ho Gaya

Santa: “Arrey Wah Lagta Hai Balbir Bhai Ke Saath Babhi Bhi Yaad Kar Rahi Hai”



Chodumal Khan Saab Ka Ek Sher Arz Hai

Meri gaaand Par Main Fida,

Teri gaaand Par Tu Fida,

Meri gaaand Par Main Fida,

Teri gaaand Par Tu Fida.

Aur Jis Din Teri Gand Par Main Fida,

Us Din Beta Samajh Le Tu Chuda

Bar & Bra

What are the similarities of BAR & BRA 

1. Both words have the same letters
2.. Both are drinking zones
3. Both have restricted timing
 for opening & closing 
4. More importantly, both makes men crazy when open.

Santa Aur Gloves

Santa Ne Hospital Me Ek Surgery Gloves Dekha,


Bar Bar Ulat Palat Ke Dekhne Ke Baad Bola 


" Lagta Hai Draupadi Ke Jamane Ka Condom Hai "