a look at life

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the coverof the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of BusinessWeek. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on theback of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished topurchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for atelevision set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" Iasked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you cantake boiling hot wax pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by theroot, and still be afraid of a spider.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONSA
man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correctaisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and aball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you werelooking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's likethis, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rollingpapers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have toroll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBANDA
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. Anearlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted toconcede their position As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use aday... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to bebecause we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned tohis wife and asked, "What?"

CREATIONA
man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid andso beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me toexplain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made mestupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffeeeach morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you shoulddo it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for mycoffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in theBible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can'tbelieve that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the NewTestament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeedsays.......... "HEBREWS"