• Love is a complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a goodscrew to fix it.
• Confucious say Man have more hair on chest than woman - but on the(w)hole woman have more.Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man, but behind asatisfied woman there is an exhausted man.
• Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless in the mood.
• There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
• Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letterwords to convey its full meaning.
• The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meatprovided that the urge to surge remains constant
.• Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.
• God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one ata time.•
Sex relieves tension - love causes it
• Friends are like BRAs...close to your heart, and full of support.Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government.
• Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until yourealize you are only fucking yourself.•
"An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card."-Alex comfort•
"It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have thetime." -Tallulah Bankhead
• Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them." -Mae West
• For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches." -StacyNelkin
.Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach isaiming just a little too high.
• Height of dehydration: Man ejaculating white powder.
• If I wanted to listen to an asshole I would have farted.Are mice giving you trouble?No?Than you must have a good pussy!
• I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you; you do not have to sayyes, just smile to me!
• Q: Whats the definitoin of suspicion?
A: A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field
.• Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in myopinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds !
• A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion ifon breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on asshole.
• A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around urknee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.
• Thought for the day: In terms of sex satisfaction, woman is like a roadand a man is like a traveller. The traveller gets tired but the road never ends!
• A teacher: What part of the body goes to heaven first?A child replies: Feet- coz every nite I see my mum with her feet in the airscreamin GOD I'M COMIN!
• A blonde has a car crash & an ambulance arrives.The paramedic asks, "How many fingers have I got up?" Blonde replies, "Oh no, Ithink I'm paralyzed too.
• Q: What do you call Afghan virgin?
A: Never Bin LaDen.
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
• If size doesn't matter, why I am so popular?•
.Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
• Definition of an orgasm: Gland Finale.
• Sex is my religion.. let us pray!
• Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?
• Philosopy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
• I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.
• Assassins do it from behind.
• Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer!S
ex is nobody's business except the three people involved.
• Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman insideit.
• Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse
• A penis is the lightest thing in the world...even a thought can raiseit.
• An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead.
• Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
• Avoid mailmen. They're carriers!•
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGARA has Front effect.
• On wall, women's loo on the Enterprise: "Where no man has gone before"
A Greek n Italian were arguing over who is superior.Greek: We gave sex to the world.
Italians: Yes you did, but we introduced it to women!
• A mother taught to her son to go to bathroom by the numbers. 1 open urfly, 2 take out ur equipment, 3 pull back the skin, 4 do ur business, 5 let theskin forward, 6 stow ur equipment, 7 close ur fly. She used to check him often nshe was pleased to listen 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 until one day when she heard, 3-5, 3-5,3-5, 3-5,3-5.
• At a Gynecologist convention in two gynecologists were talking. One from France says, "There was a woman in my office yesterday with a clitoris like awatermelon."One from England says, "That's impossible, if she had a clitoris the size of awatermelon she couldn't walk.The first one responded, "You English, always thinking about size. I was talking about taste."
• Marsha completed four weeks of dental restoration with the dentist.She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love with her dentist and she was going to propose to him.Her friend said, "You're beautiful, you have dozens of men that adore you. Why is this dentist THE man for you?"
"Because," explained Marsha, "he is the first man that ever said to me 'SPIT,don't SWALLOW'
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