• "It was just a simple mis understanding, your honor," testified the man charged with indecent exposure."Explain that statement!" demanded the judge."Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."
• The boss went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?""Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.The boss replied, "Good, then you fire her!"
• An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks.""What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked."Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."•
Q: If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squashknees, what do gynecologists get?A: Tunnel vision.
• Sex is good, sex is fine. Doggy style or 69.
Just 4 fun or getting paid,everyone loves getting laid. So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text meback.
• One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and onlyenough blood to run one at a time."
• Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent whatpeople think you've got.
• Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
• Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
• They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
• Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren'tburdened with children.
• Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won'teither.
• Avoid rape - say yes!
• Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until yourealize you are only fucking yourself.
• Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!
• Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.•
A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. Awoman only needs to be available.
Confucius say......man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener!
• A botany student has brought to our attention the fact that Penis is theonly thing that has to be grown before it is planted!
• Playboy has started a special edition 4 married men. The same woman is featured every month.
• As a man goes older, it is harder and harder for him to grow harder.
• An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think aboutit, the harder it gets.
• Virgin Airline ad: "We are more experienced than our name suggests!
'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwaveoven. 'One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.'
• Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, thenwhat's an unmarried woman called?A: Center Fresh.
• To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder inbetween them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you willknow!
• Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
• A Survey Report: 65% of all women carry condoms. The other 35% carrybabies.
• Q: What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?A: A fridge does not moan when there is meat inside.
• Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips?A: One is for fighting and one is to make up.
• Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.
• Q: Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly?A: When she feels something wet she turn on her back.
• When I was born I got the choice: a major dick or a fine memory. I amnot able to remember what I did choose.Constipation is the thief of time
• Whoever said talk is cheap hasn't seen phone sex bills.
• Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going to getor how long it will last.
• An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think aboutit, the harder it gets.
• The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after,but instead.
• I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes.
• Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
• Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but youlook hard!
No comments:
Post a Comment