Wednesday, February 20, 2008

SuRNAME FOR NEW BABY


AN Indian WAS WORKING IN DUBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HIS
wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Mumbai.
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to hiscolleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happyevent" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
The man said it is common in India that neighbours take care of thewife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"
The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has takencare,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";
If it is the third neighbour then it wouldbe "TRIVEDI",
If it is the fourth neighbour then itwould be "CHATURVEDI";
If its the fifth neighbour then it wouldbe "PANDEY"...
After listening to this, questions followed.
What if it is a mixture of neighbours?"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...
And what if the wife is too shy to tellthe name of the neighbour?Then it would be "SHARMA"...
But what if she refuses to divulge thename of the neighbour?Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...
If she does not remember the name then?"It is YAAD-AV"
But who knows whether the child resultedfrom a rape?Then it will be named "DOSHI"...
Finally, if the child happened becauseof wife's burning desire?Then he will be named "JOSHI"...
And if the whole country had made effortsfor the happy arrival?...."DESHPANDEY."

Welcome to the Corporate world

LAW OF THE JUNGLE
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger that looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nike.
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".
Welcome to the corporate world!! So true, right?

Jay aur mausi ki baat-cheet

Jay : Mausi, ladka FIBCOM mein kaam karta hai..Mausi : Hai ram..!!! aur kahin try kar raha hai kya??

Jay : kahan mausi 2 saal FIBCOM me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan hai...
Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se FIBCOM mein hi hai..

Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use..
Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..?

Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi..
Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..?

Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to nahin milti hai... mausi..
Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..?

Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite jane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi anban..
Mausi : To kya ab tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya..???

Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha hai mausi..
Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!!


Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..?
Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!


Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi???


Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun le...Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki koi sauteli maa nahi Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu se shaadi kar le par FIBCOM ke employee se katai nahin karegi.

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: " Good till the last drop ".
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes,
and she read from the pack: " Extra Long. King Size "
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: " Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways. "
Mom fainted !!!!

Nice one.Dontmiss read


A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing aloose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing hisusualjeans and t-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large,silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy.

He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he gruntedand pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggestedthat his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely excited,now making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!

"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips andcharging the bars!

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "Now, tell him you have a headache AND U ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW."

The Universal Truth -- Ultimate

The Universal Truth -- Ultimate

The best relation ever is between two eyes,

They blink together,

move together,

cry together,

see together and sleep together".

STILL they never see directly each other.

But when they see a girl, one will blink and another will not.

Moral of the story: "Girls can break any kind of relationships" .