Friday, August 19, 2011

Gods Gift

A man got two wishes from god.
He asked for the Best drink & best woman...
the next moment he got Mineral water & Mother teresa...

lesson:
.........Investment matters are subject to market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing...

"Janhit Me Jaari".....

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Take Boss temperature

A grumpy, overbearing office manager once had to spend a couple  of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses,  bossing them around just like he did his employees. None of the
hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who would stand up to him.

She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for a few minutes he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry," the nurse said, "For this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After inserting the thermometer, she said, "Now, I have to go get something. You stay
just like that until I get back!"

She left the door to his room open on her way out, and the man cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door snickering. After quite some time had passed, a doctor walked
into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"

After a pause, the doctor replied, "Yes... but never with a DAFFODIL!"

*********************************************************
 Two drunks were driving down the road. The first drunk looked
over to the other drunk and says, "I think we are getting closer
to downtown."

The second drunk says, "How can you tell?"

The first drunk says "We're hitting more and more people."

Monday, August 15, 2011

She is a woman ( Always Confused ! )

 


If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy

If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

She is a womanIf you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring

If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So damning, yet so wonderful
So confusing, yet so desirable......

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A wife asked her husband to describe her.

A wife asked her husband to describe her.
He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K'.
She said, 'What does that mean?'
He said Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot'.
She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?'

He said-- I'm Just Kidding---!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Loyalty Test

Wife bought a Dozen underwear of same Color for hubby....
Hubby-y Same Color?
Peopl wil think I never change underwear...:O
Wife-Whch people?

A man sent a SMS to his wife

"Hi Darling, I am just having my last Peg and I will be home in 30 minutes;
If I am not, please read this message again!"