Some Wife Bashers

If your dog is barking at the back door and yourwife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departedmother and started back toward his car when his attention wasdiverted to another man kneeling at a grave.The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and keptrepeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish tointerfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of painis more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn sodeeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collecthimself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to getmarried?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
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A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "Ifyou don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promisebut I hope you will keep yours."