Monday, May 19, 2008

JOKE - 500 Dollar

The madam of a bawdy house answered the ring of the bell and, on openingthe door, she found standing there on the threshold, an ancient, beardedgentleman in rabbi's garb.

"May I come in?" asked the rabbi gently in anaged, quavering voice.

Feeling a little confused, the madam said, "But rabbi, surely you must be in the wrong place. Here is where we..."

"Iknow what you do here," interrupted the rabbi.

"You don't think I came here for chopped liver, do you? Bring on the girls." Still confused, but understanding her professional duties, the madam had several girls lineup.

The rabbi tottered from one to another until he reached Rose, alarge redhead with enormous breasts. He looked at her with appreciationand pointed, "Good! I'll take those.

" The rabbi paid out the necessarysum and Rosie led him upstairs. She helped him off with his coat andhung it up carefully on the nail on the door. Then she helped him offwith the rest of his clothes and got into bed. There, to Rosie'sastonishment, the rabbi performed with an address and a skill that was unbelievable.

In fact, Rosie, a hardened professional, found herselfsurprised into orgasm. As they lay in bed a few minutes afterwards,relaxing,

Rosie said, "How old are you, Rabbi?" The rabbi said, "God hasbeen good to me. I am eighty-eight years ol d." "That is certainlyamazing. Listen, Rabbi, if you're ever in the neighborhood again and ifyou should feel in the mood, please ask for me ... Rosie.

I would bedelighted to oblige you." The rabbi said, with a certain hauteur, "What do you mean, if I should be in the mood again? Let me sleep for five minutes right now and, believe me, I will be in the mood again."

"Really, Rabbi? Then please take a nap." "Okay." The rabbi adjustedhimself into a relaxed position, face up, placed his arms across hischest and then said, "Wait one minute. This is important. While I'masleep, scoop up my testicles with your right hand and hold them an inchabove the sheet, without moving them. Keep them absolutely motionless."

"Of course, Rabbi," said Rosie, and did as she was told, holding therabbi's testicles free of the sheet. For five minutes the rabbi slept,then woke with a start and said, "I'm ready." And so he was, for, toRosie's delight, he was even better the second time than the first. Asshe lay panting, Rosie said, "It was wonderful, Rabbi, but one thing Idon't understand.

Why was it necessary to hold your testicles motion lessa bove the sheet while you were sleeping?"

"Oh that," said the rabbi."Well, you are a nice girl and I like you very much. Still, the truth isI don't know you very well, and over there, in my coat, hanging on thehook on the door, is five hundred dollars."