Some Good jokes

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS
1 Too Many Question
2 Difficult to Understand.
3 More Explanation is Needed.
4 Result is always FAIL!

Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, Dad, why do u keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?
Answer: So when Im dead no one will dare touch ur mom!

Tourists at Niagra falls.
Guide: "I welcome you all to the Niagra Falls . These are the world's largest WaterFalls and the sound intesity of the WaterFall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can't be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??..."

Three Feelings:
Whats the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 Problems. So beware of the glance!

Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
sudha : I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi : I want 2 help sudha .

Chinese Adam & Eve:
If adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

The Faithful Dog
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession. Behind the coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that coffin is for my wife." The inquisitive man asked, "What happened to her?" The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied "Please join the queue."