A Woman and A Condom

Q: What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?
A: They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.
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Q: Why does a woman have two pair of lips?
A: One is for fighting and one is to make up..
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Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde ke peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.
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Son kills a butterfly.
Dad: No butter for 2 weeks.
Son kills a honeybee.
Dad: No honey for 2 weeks.
Mom kills a cockroach.
Son: Dad u tell her or should I?
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Man: Bless me God!
My son is drug addict,
my daughter is a call girl,
my wife is a gambler.
God: Is anything +ve in ur family?
Man: I’m HIV positive.
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Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis.
1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.
2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.
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Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?