Sunday, November 9, 2008

Little Jokes

Little Lalloo was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. 'Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?' he asked his mother. 'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?'


PAYING BILLS
Two guys robbed a rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, 'What did you find in your sack?' 'Ten lakh Rupees!' 'Wow.... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?' 'I bought a house. How about your sack?' 'Bah... it was full of bills.' 'And what did you do with them?' 'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'


RAILWAY STATION
Three professors had walked down to the train station from the University. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't hear the train arrive, but they did notice the noise of the train as it started to depart. After a desperate rush two of them manage to scramble onboard. The third looked sad and a passing railway official said, 'Don't feel bad, atleast two out of three of you made it.' 'True…', sighed the professor, 'But the other two were only here to see me off!'


WHAT A DREAM
Wife: I dreamed you gave me $100 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn't spoil that dream, would you, Dear? Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $100.


Captain Ronald
Could you please tell me the condition of Captain Ronald in Room No. 605? He was operated upon last week and I'd like to know his condition.' The nurse excused herself and then returned to the phone. 'I have just checked Captain Ronald's chart. His condition is excellent and he seems to be making steady improvement. Who shall I say called?' 'This is Captain Ronald in room. No.605. my doctors don't tell me a thing!


MARRYING DAUGHTER
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."



MUNDAN
This leave letter is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days."

LEAVE APPLICATION
Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: 'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.'


DOUGHNUT
Customer: Waitress, why is my doughnut all smashed? Waitress: You said you wanted a cup of coffee and a doughnut, and step on it.

PIANO
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha, woh kya soch raha hoga....think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"


COINCIDENCE
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" STUDENT: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


GIRLISH FIGURE
'So you met Suneeta today?' 'Yes, I hadn't seen her for eight years. 'Has she kept her girlish figure?' 'Kept it? She doubled it.'


STRANGE SOCKS
TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.


GEORGE WASHINGTON
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


GO SLOW
TEACHER: Why are you late? BALGOBIN: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


DRUNK ?
Nelson got arrested and was brought before the Judge. 'Who brought you in?' asked the Judge. 'Two policemen, Sir.' 'Drunk, I assume?' 'Both of them, Your Honour, both of them.'


HIT BACK
The scene in the film was tense and the audience sat enthralled. Suddenly, the hero slapped the heroine on the face. In the silence that followed, a young voice piped up: 'Why doesn't she hit back like you do, mummy?'

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