Friday, November 7, 2008

Stupid jokse

There's a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know
which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see
how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the
works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look
pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I
bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and
reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the
money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent
the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.


When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor.
Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way
or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way?


saleswoman was traveling along this Arkansas road when her car broke down near a farmhouse. She went to the farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could put her up for the night until her car was fixed.

"Sure," he said, "but you have to sleep with my son because we only have two bedrooms. By the way, he suffers from tight skin."
She asked if it was contagious and he said no, so they went to sleep.
When she woke up in the morning the bed was full of crap, and she screamed. The farmer came running into the room and asked what was wrong.

"This bed is full of shit!" she yelled.
"I told you last night that he suffered from tight skin," said the farmer.
"Just what the hell is tight skin, anyway?" she asked.
The farmer said, "When he closes his eyes his asshole opens up!"