Kanjoos Makkhi Choos

Kanjoos: Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K:  60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos: Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

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A Kanjoos on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, Im here
My sons & daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Kanjoos:To phir baju wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay

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1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
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Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Arbi:Munna!!
Ab hamarey ander bhi Kanjoos ka khoon dor raha hay

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A Kanjoos called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Sohan Bhai Died".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Kanjoos: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Sohan Bhai Died - Suzuki for Sale .

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Kanjoos ask to Taxi Driver: Abdullah Shah Ghazi k mazaar jao gay?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Kanjoos ne jaib se shopper nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ki biryani lete aana.

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Shadi me 1 Kanjoos bahut der tk khata raha,
Kse ne pocha bhae kb tk khaty rhogy?
Kanjoos: Yaar me khud kha kha k thak gya hun pr kya karoon card me likha tha "Dinner 7 to 10pm
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Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q le rahe ho
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.
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EK KANJOOS KHALI KATOREY MAIN
ROTI DABA KAR KHA RAHA THA
WAITER NE DEKA TU POUCHA
AP YAH KIA KAR RAHEY HIAN
KANJOOS NE JAWAB DIYA
MAIN MATHS KA TEACHER HOON OR DALL
SUPPOSE KAR KAY KHARAHA HOON

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Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost:
Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos:
Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda