Tuesday, October 21, 2008


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas

And then the fight started....

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security
office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my
age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but
I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would
think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed
and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
which one are you?'

And then the fight started