Adult sex jokes

Brothel Parrot


A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, 'New house, new madam.'

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, 'New house, new madam, new girls.'

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, 'Hi Keith.'


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A high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party all alone.

Since she was very good looking, she was a bit nervous about what
to do if boys hit on her. Her Mom said,

"It is very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask
him 'What will be the name of our baby?', that will scare them
off." So off she went.

After a little while at the party a boy started dancing with her
and, little by little, kissing her and touching her. She asked
him, "What will our baby be called?"

The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later the
same thing happened again, a boy started to kiss her neck, her
shoulders... she stopped him and asked him 'What will be the name
of our baby?',

He ran off.

Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes
he started kissing her and she asked him, "What will our baby be
called?"

He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our
baby be called?" she asked once more.

He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!"
she asked again.

After he was done, he peeled off his condom, tied it in a knot
and said,

"...if he gets out of this one...David Copperfield!"