Sexy Hindi jokes

What a woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears...

blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!


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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him,
but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need",
then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on
the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his
chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground
floor and says, "What the **** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you -
I'm coming!"


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Kaam wali bai says to malkin after seeing condom on bed: Yeh kya hai?
Malkin said: Tere gawon mein *** nahi karte kya?
Kaam wali bai: Karte hai malkin per itna nahi ke lund ki khal nikal jaye!
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"