Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Take Boss temperature

A grumpy, overbearing office manager once had to spend a couple  of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses,  bossing them around just like he did his employees. None of the
hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who would stand up to him.

She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for a few minutes he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry," the nurse said, "For this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After inserting the thermometer, she said, "Now, I have to go get something. You stay
just like that until I get back!"

She left the door to his room open on her way out, and the man cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door snickering. After quite some time had passed, a doctor walked
into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"

After a pause, the doctor replied, "Yes... but never with a DAFFODIL!"

 Two drunks were driving down the road. The first drunk looked
over to the other drunk and says, "I think we are getting closer
to downtown."

The second drunk says, "How can you tell?"

The first drunk says "We're hitting more and more people."