Missing wife

 

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:


Man:                      I lost my wife (misty)
Inspector:           What is her height
Man:                     I never noticed
Inspector:           Slim or healthy
Man:                     Not slim can be healthy
Inspector:           Colour of eyes
Man:                     Never noticed
Inspector:           Colour of hair
Man:                     Changes according to season
Inspector:           What was she wearing
Man:                     Saree/suit/ I don't remember exactly
Inspector:           Was somebody with her ?????????
Man:                     Yes my Labrador dog, Romeo,  tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the man started crying…..
Inspector:  Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . .. .
 Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me ...."

Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just
 gargle and gargle".

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman:" Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.

Doctor:" you see how keeping your mouth shut helps! !!"