Thursday, January 15, 2009

The 5 toughest questions for men ?

The 5 toughest questions for men are:



1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What
makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (
i.e.tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.




Question # 1: What are you thinking about?



The
proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive,
dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful,
caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to

have met you."



This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:


a. Baseball.
b. Football.

c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.

e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.


(Perhaps
the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once
told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!")




Question # 2: Do you love me?


The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, shit loads.

b.. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.

d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?


Question # 3: Do I look fat?


The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:


a. Compared to what?

b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.

d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how Iwould spend the insurance money if you died.




Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?


Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.

b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c.. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.

d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question# 5: What would you do if I died?


A definite no-win question


 


I was just thinking about how Iwould spend the insurance money if you died.



 



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