Show him right in

After successfully passing the bar exam, a young man opened his own law office. One day he was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him.

"Show him right in!" the lawyer replied.

As Mr. Jones was being ushered in the lawyer had an idea. He quickly picked up the phone and shouted into it "...and you tell them that we won't accept less then fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!"

Slamming the phone down he stood up and greeted Mr. Jones, "Good morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?"

"I'm from the telphone company," Mr. Jones replied. "I'm here to connect that phone."

What is the Difference between females and computer?

In a computer software is inserted into the hardware, but in females
the HARDWARE gets inserted into the SOFTWARE.

penis ki ummar

penis ki ummar per kush gane pesh hai.................
5 se 15 : papa kehte hain bada nam karega.
16 se 25 : dhoom macha de dhoom.
26 se 35 : kabhi khushhi kabhi gham.
36 se 45 : kal ho na ho.
56 ke baad : pappu can't dance saaaalaaaa. dichik dichik !

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends... .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also
spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly s hr unk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the
money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or
not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in
flames!!!

Your dog's barking

Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one
morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone...

"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.

Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number
before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his
neighbor back ...

"Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."