Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.
She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.”
He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?”
“A hand job”, Harry reply.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ……
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Women tryin to hide age
Women tryin to hide age
A woman decides to have a face-lift, for her birthday. She spends $5000, and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 32,” is the reply. “Nope! I’m exactly 47,” the woman says happily.
A little while later, she goes into McDonald’s, and asks the counter girl, the very same question. The girl replies, “I guess about 29.” The woman replies, “Nope, I’m 47.”
Now she’s feeling really good, about herself. She stops in a drugstore, on her way down the street. She! goes up to the counter, to get some mints, and asks the clerk, this burning question. The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.” Again she proudly responds, “I am 47, but thank you.”
While waiting, for the bus to go home, she asks an old man, waiting next to her, the same question. He replies, “Lady, I’m 78, and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way, to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you, to let me, put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street, until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, “What the heck, go ahead.” He slips both of his hands, under her blouse, and under her bra, and begins to feel around, very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each ******. He gently pinches each ******. He pushes her ******s together, and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay, how old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her ******s, removes his hands and says, “Madam, you are 47.” Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?” The old man replies, “Promise you won’t get mad?” “I promise I won’t.” she says.
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He replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.
A woman decides to have a face-lift, for her birthday. She spends $5000, and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 32,” is the reply. “Nope! I’m exactly 47,” the woman says happily.
A little while later, she goes into McDonald’s, and asks the counter girl, the very same question. The girl replies, “I guess about 29.” The woman replies, “Nope, I’m 47.”
Now she’s feeling really good, about herself. She stops in a drugstore, on her way down the street. She! goes up to the counter, to get some mints, and asks the clerk, this burning question. The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.” Again she proudly responds, “I am 47, but thank you.”
While waiting, for the bus to go home, she asks an old man, waiting next to her, the same question. He replies, “Lady, I’m 78, and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way, to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you, to let me, put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street, until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, “What the heck, go ahead.” He slips both of his hands, under her blouse, and under her bra, and begins to feel around, very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each ******. He gently pinches each ******. He pushes her ******s together, and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay, how old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her ******s, removes his hands and says, “Madam, you are 47.” Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?” The old man replies, “Promise you won’t get mad?” “I promise I won’t.” she says.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.
Short and crispy
3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer. 2nd said: i also saw & punchered them. 3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer. 2nd said: i also saw & punchered them. 3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
Susu
Theater Mein Naari Pradhan Film Chal Rahi Thhi
Ek Ladki Josh Mein Khadi Ho Kar Boli
“Aaj Naari Khadi Ho Jaaye To Kya Nahi Kar Sakti?”
Piche Se Awaj Aayi: “Susu“
Ek Ladki Josh Mein Khadi Ho Kar Boli
“Aaj Naari Khadi Ho Jaaye To Kya Nahi Kar Sakti?”
Piche Se Awaj Aayi: “Susu“
Ek Baar Santa Ek Ladki Ki Gaan* Maar Raha Thha
Ek Baar Santa Ek Ladki Ki Gaan* Maar Raha Thha
Achanak Santa Bola: “Oye Main To Batana Hi Bhool Gaya Mujhe To AIDS Hai”
Ladki Darrr Ke:” Kyaaaaaaaaaaa”
Santa: “Oye Main To Mazaak Kar Raha Tha, Main To Sirf Tumhari Gaan* tight Karna Chahta Tha Iss Liye Esa Bola“
Achanak Santa Bola: “Oye Main To Batana Hi Bhool Gaya Mujhe To AIDS Hai”
Ladki Darrr Ke:” Kyaaaaaaaaaaa”
Santa: “Oye Main To Mazaak Kar Raha Tha, Main To Sirf Tumhari Gaan* tight Karna Chahta Tha Iss Liye Esa Bola“
Hookers Tax Return
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.' He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. And then asks, 'What is your occupation?' The woman replies, 'I'm a wh0re.
'The accountant balks and says, 'No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that.' The woman, 'OK, I'm a prostitute.''No, that is still too crude. Try again.' They both think for a minute, then the woman states, 'I'm a chicken farmer.' The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a wh0re or a prostitute?'
'Well, I raised over 5,000 c0cks last year.'
The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.' He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. And then asks, 'What is your occupation?' The woman replies, 'I'm a wh0re.
'The accountant balks and says, 'No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that.' The woman, 'OK, I'm a prostitute.''No, that is still too crude. Try again.' They both think for a minute, then the woman states, 'I'm a chicken farmer.' The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a wh0re or a prostitute?'
'Well, I raised over 5,000 c0cks last year.'
A Friend Is Like...
A Friend Is Like A Panty - Always Comfortable
A Good Friend Is Like A Bra - Always Supportive
Best Friend Is Like A Condom - Always Protective
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