Training for upper management

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one handvand a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee".


The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.





The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.



He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa,Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?"


The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."

US Economy....Real Facts..!!!

Marc Faber comment on US economy.

Investment analyst and entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

''The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.'

BUG SPRAY

A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insectrepellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.
"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guaranteeit."
The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfieldbuck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite onyou come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you. And get everyone in thecounty to buy a case......we will make you rich.
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughlywith the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went thefarmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to thecornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, nota single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer wasperplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you looklike hell! What the devil happened?" The salesman looked up throughbloodshot eyes and croaked,
"Doesn't that calf have a mother?*

'Stock' Market

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50!
However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected.
I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50.
' The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !

Welcome to the 'Stock' Market!!!!!