Best SMS Joke

Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

Loyalty Test

Wife bought a Dozen underwear of same Color for hubby....
Hubby-y Same Color?
Peopl wil think I never change underwear...:O
Wife-Whch people?

A man sent a SMS to his wife

"Hi Darling, I am just having my last Peg and I will be home in 30 minutes;
If I am not, please read this message again!"

Sweet Hindi SMS 1

Kabhi kabhi in ankho main nami se hoti hai
Kabhi kabhi in honto pe hansi si hoti hai
Ae dost woh tumhi ho jisse meri zindgi, zindgi si hoti hai

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Mann me apke har baat rahegi,
Basti chhoti hai magar aabaad rahegi,
Chahe hum bhulade zamane ko,
Magar aapki ye pyari si dosti hamesha yaad rahegi...

......................................

D- DASTAK BHI NA DE.
O- OR APNA BANA LE.
S- SARI JINDEGI JO SATH DE.
T- TAKDIR JO SAWAAR DE.
I- ISI RISTYE KO DOSTI KEHTE HAI.

......................................

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
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ADULT SMS

1) Pappu meets his dad in a Red Light Area & said:
Papa, aap yahan peh?
Father: Bas beta ab 200-300 rupaye ke liye teri Mummy ke Nakhre nahi sahe jaate.

2) DON removed his pant n asked for a blow job from his girlfriend.
By lookingat his small penis
she replyed ''DON ka pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai''

3) Husband & wife talak ke baad.
Husband :-''Bacha mera hai"
Lady :-"wah ji wah! Bartan mera,dudh mera,thoda sa khatta kya dal diya pura dahi tera?!!

4) Director to Mallika: Suhagraat ka scene hai, aap usse garam dudh ka glassdeti hai.Mallika: Glass se hi pilana tha to mujhe kyo liya, Vidya Balan ko lete!

Be Careful What You Ask For

*One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He pickedit up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want aspectacular job -- a job that no man has eversucceeded at or has ever even dared try."
"Poof!" said the genie.
"You're a housewife."

Pappu

Pappu: Dad, today they taught about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad.

Non-veg for all part-II

1)Love is not measured by hugging, kissing & sex . luv is respect& trust, accepting a person with open legs.. closed eyes.. wetlips..saying "push it more"- 2

2)Subah-2 jab khirki kholay, fruitwala zore se bole: 8 rupay ke 12kelay, kum paray to mera lelay.

3)Sex life of a couple according to ages:--
18+ DINRAAT
28+ ROZRAAT
38+ JUMERAAT
48+ CHANDRAAT
58+ JAJBAAT AUR GAL BAAT.

4)Iss jahan main aae ho to ,kuch aaisa kar jaao kadardaan,Jiss gali se guzro, aawaaz aae --"ABBAJAAN - ABBAJAAN"

5)Rail ki patri par mat hagaa karo,train aayegi gaand kat jaayegi.abhi haath se gaand dhotay ho,baad mein gaand se haath dhobaithogay!!!!!!!!!!

6)A woman gave birth to six babies & on seeing this,she goes outoff her hospital bed &slapped her husband & shouted, " I told you not to go doggy style ".

7)A 25 year boy married a 65 year woman.after two days boy died,because he drank expired milk.

8)Ek Sardar car ke piche pesab kar raha tha. A Foreigner said to him "AAPKE YAHAN POLICE NAHIN PAKADHTI ?"He replied,"NAHIN HAMAARE YAHAN KHUD PAKADHNA PADHTA HAI !"

9)A girl selling SANDWICH on the beach in goa, asked asardar:"sardar ji ,sandwich loge? "sardar ji replied,"o,kamliye sand wich kyon?, room wich kyonnahi?

10)A good friend is like a good bra. hard to find, very comfortable,supportive, holds u up when r down & always close to the heart.good day, dear bra..

KISSOLOGY

Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect
At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust
BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.

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Woman: If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.
Man: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

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A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,&
she is my kidney.

~~~~~~~~~

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor"

Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

MY ADULT SMS

1) Fucking Fact.. . . . .F*ck
a woman and she loves you...Love a woman and she fu*ks you..!! :-)

2) Banta: I'm organising group sex @ my home. Will u join?
Santa: Yes, yes! How many people r there?
Banta: Just 3 -Me, U & Ur Wife!

3) Santa was pissing wen a gal saw his huge penis & said naughtily:
Wow I wud luv 2 hav dat.
Santa: Go & get a cup, I'm about 2 finish!

4) Next 20-20 KA CAPTAIN kaun?
GUJ : PATHAN
MARATI :SACHIN
Sardar -SANIYA MIRZA.
SANIYA Q..?
SRDR : Jeet k baad DHONI KI TARAH T-SHIRT NIKALEGI TO BALLE BALLE!!!

5) Newtons 3 sexlaws
1-A hole always attracts a pole
2-Length of pole is equal 2 depth of hole
3-Up&down motion,releases a lotion,which increases population.

Naughty jokes

Place of SUSU
In a party a lady wanted to go to the toilet badly. So she approached thehost Santa and asked, Where is your SUSU place, Please show me.

Santa winked at the lady and said. Yea, naughty girl, First you show meyour SUSU place and then I will show you mine.

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Child Like Mom
Bantu: Did you have a chance to sleep with my wife.?
Santu: Watch it man. What are you saying? I would never even think about such a thing.?
Bantu: Well you should. She is much better than yours.

***********************************************
Crazy English
A gossiping girl student asked another about the hot story, Do you know whyt he Lady English Teacher slapped Santa left and right today?
The other replied, Ya, Lady English Teacher insisted that students should ask question no matter how dumb it is.
She continued, So Santa stood up, pointed his two fingers at the teacherand asked Why Bras is singular when it holds two in it and then pointingone finger at the teacher he asked again And Panties is plural when it holdsonly one.

Naughty SMS

Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha
.2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana padta...
*.*.*.•
If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.
*.*.*.*•
Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When aboy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....
*.*.*.*•
Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aatihai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.
*.*.*.*.*•
Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about TrustingRespecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips sayingPush it more.
*.*.*.*.•
Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?Dr: The compounder will not be here...
*.*.*.*.*•
Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her nasked:
What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!
*.*.*.*.*•
Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.
*.*.*.*.*•
Sex is evilEvil is sinSin is forgivenSo let's begin.
*.*.*.*•
Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.