when you don't know shit?

A Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the  airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'


The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed  it slowly and said to the total stranger, 'What would you  like to talk about?'


'Oh, I don't know,' said the southern congressman. 'How about global warming or universal health care', and he smiles smugly.


OK, ' she said. 'Those could be  interesting topics.. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried  grass. Why do you suppose that is?'


The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's  intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'


To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know shit?

Best adult Joke of this year

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions and listen to such dramatic statements:

Where are you going?

With whom?

Why?

How are you going?

To discover what?

Why only you?

What do I do when you are not here?

Can I come with you?

When will you be back?

Will you be home for dinner?

What will you bring for me?

You deliberately made this plan without me, didn't you?

You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately... Answer me why?

I want to go to my mother's house. I want you to drop me there. I don't want to come back ever! What do you mean, OK?

Why aren't you stopping me?

I don't understand what this whole 'discovery' thing is about. You always do things like this. Last time also you did the same thing! Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff. I still don't understand what else is left to be discovered!

GIRLS DIARY V/S BOYS DIARY

HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.


I asked him what was wrong - he said,

"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me
and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his
behavior; I don't know

why he didn't say,

"I love u,too."When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.;

he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore,

so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY


Today India lost the cricket match

against bangladesh .

DAMN IT.



NOW that's called

Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

Management Theory - "thats intelligence"

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."


The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"


The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER




Moral: When you think the other person is dumb,
you are making a fool of yourself.

Sweet Jokes

Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne
bachchon ko karne denge.
******

"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of Ur mail id"
******

There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
******

If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its
ok,
If someone says u r genius slap him as tight as you can n say there
Is a limit of kidding n u r now crossing the limit.
******

Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
******

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife
kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with
other kidney.
******

What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
******

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain
or
Wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai

Girls diary v/s Boys diary

Girl's Diary VS boy's Diary
HER DIARY
------------ ------
Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversatio n wasn't flowing soI suggested that we go some where quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it hadnothing to do with me and not to worry.On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore,
so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is gonna be a disaster.

____________ _________ _________ _

HIS DIARY
==========
Today India lost the cricket match against bangladesh. DAMNIT.

Note:Simplicity of Men Vs Complexity of Women !!!

Jokes Time

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor"
Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!
~~~~~~~~~
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar, This is my sardarni, He is my kid,& she is my kidney.
~~~~~~~~~
"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"Do u want a documentary proof ??Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find al frns behind u !!!
~~~~~~~~~

Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect

At her LIPS is Love

CHEEKis Heroism

NECK is Lust

BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY

bakri

kash tum bakri hote,
hum tumhe ghas khilate aur Pyar se tumhare sing hilate aur
puchte 'msg bhejne me kanjus kaun?
tum ya mai'to tum Pyar se bolte
....MEIN MEIN__._,_.___

She should not ........

A boy is telling proudly to his close friend as to what he did with his girlfriend whom he took to a hotel room for three consequtive nights.

Boy to his friend "First day I took out her cloths waited for some time and we came back."

Friend asks him "Only this much? Why?

Boy Reples, " Because, She should not feel that I do not have courage to undress her.

Boy further tells his friend, " Second day, I undressed her and also undressed my self, and then we came back."

Friend again asked him, " Reallly? That's all?

Boy Replies. " Ya. Because, she should not feel that I can not control myself".

Boy further reports to his friend, "On third and last day, I undressed her, then I undressed myself, then I masterbetted myself and we came back immeditely."

Friend shockingly asks him " No sex with her at all? Why?"

Boy replies, "Ya. Because she should not feel that I can not manage with out her"

Boys never change...

Girls Collage mai Strike ho gai,
Sabhi girls Nare Laga rahi hai,
Girls k satth Boys bhi unka satth de rahe hai,
Girls ne Nare lagate huye "HAMARI MANGE....,
Piche se Awaz aye,"SINDUR SE BHARO....".