A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was,
and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all
the girls that I love,dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him,
''Don't worry my son,
you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son
=
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Because she's a lesbian.
A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar.
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says, "Whatever she is drinking give her another one and tell her it's from me."
The bartender replies, "I don't think you want to do that." "What do you mean?" yells the polish guy.
"Send her the drink!" "O.K." the bartender replies. "But I don't think it's a good idea."
"And why not?" asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says, "Because she's a lesbian."
"I don't care, send her the drink." says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls
down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her.
"Thanks for the drink," says the lady. "But I'm a Lesbian.
"Yeah, I heard," he smoothly replies.
"So what part of Lesbia are you from?"
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says, "Whatever she is drinking give her another one and tell her it's from me."
The bartender replies, "I don't think you want to do that." "What do you mean?" yells the polish guy.
"Send her the drink!" "O.K." the bartender replies. "But I don't think it's a good idea."
"And why not?" asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says, "Because she's a lesbian."
"I don't care, send her the drink." says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls
down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her.
"Thanks for the drink," says the lady. "But I'm a Lesbian.
"Yeah, I heard," he smoothly replies.
"So what part of Lesbia are you from?"
Friday, November 6, 2009
who will win Women Vs Beer ?
Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it
becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following
is a debate, developed by the University of Mumbai , in India .... to
help you analyze which is better !
Here is the debate ....... (Women, pls kindly take it in the right sense)
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !
Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !
A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !
If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you.
If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for
sure and she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view .... )
10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night
and you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !
The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !
Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God !
1 point for women !
If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you
ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !
For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !
If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !
You can always be sure that, you are the first one " Opening " a beer !
1 point for beer !
If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !
You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !
A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !
You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half
an hour after !
1 point for beer !
So the Score is .......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !
And Finally
If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ........
know that a beer would never get angry ! So ..........
Another point for beer !
Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !
becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following
is a debate, developed by the University of Mumbai , in India .... to
help you analyze which is better !
Here is the debate ....... (Women, pls kindly take it in the right sense)
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !
Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !
A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !
If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you.
If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for
sure and she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view .... )
10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night
and you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !
The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !
Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God !
1 point for women !
If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you
ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !
For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !
If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !
You can always be sure that, you are the first one " Opening " a beer !
1 point for beer !
If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !
You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !
A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !
You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half
an hour after !
1 point for beer !
So the Score is .......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !
And Finally
If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ........
know that a beer would never get angry ! So ..........
Another point for beer !
Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !
You mean I was here already?
Roger marries at 85 to Jenny aged 25
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new
husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger
should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but
aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the
expected knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and
there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door,
and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised,
Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses
his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back
again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more
"action".
And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again,
his young bride says to him, "I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you
can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of
your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger."
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: "You mean I was here
already?"
The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has Its
advantages.
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new
husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger
should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but
aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the
expected knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and
there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to
sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door,
and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised,
Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses
his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger Is back
again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more
"action".
And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again,
his young bride says to him, "I Am thoroughly impressed that at your age you
can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of
your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger."
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: "You mean I was here
already?"
The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has Its
advantages.
Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but....
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.
Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It gets worse........
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.
Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It gets worse........
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
Best Hindi Adult Non-Veg sexy Jokes ever
Judge: Why do you want a divorce?
Husband: She does not satisfy me in bed.
Judge: Is it correct?
Wife: Sara mohalla khush hai, bas isike hi nakhre Hai.
Father went to school for getting report of his son.
Father: Madam kab dengi aap report?
Teacher: Periods khatam hone ke bad.
SUHAG RAAT WIFE: Piche nahi aage dalte hai
Sardar: Tuje kaise pata?
WIFE: Mera dost mere aage se dalta tha
Sardar: Chup kar mera dost mere pichhe dalta tha
Santa: Bhaisaab ek condom dena. Meine girl friend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa: Arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai
Pakistani ladkiyon ke ( . ) ( . ) Boob's Bade kyon hote hain?
Kyun ki.... Wo aate-jaate har ek ko kehti hain- "AA DAAB"
What's the best family planning slogan on a Govt bus?
"Hum do hamare do" - No!
"Chota Pariwar Sukhi Pariwar" - No!
The answer is: "Kripya Peeche se Chadiye"
A girl was handling a boy's cock for the first time.
After some time few drops came out, she sked what's that?
Boy said: "Yeh khushi ke aansoo hai"
Lady says to Kelewala: Kabhi tight kele bhi rakh liya karo.
Kelewala: Kabhi khane ke liye bhi le liya karo.
Ek Ummeed ka Diya jal raha thaa jise Baarish ne bujha diya,
Tanaah akele khushi se jee rahe the kambakht unki Yaad ne rulaa diya..!.!
Ishq ne insan ko kya se kya bana diya
kisiko kavi to kisiko katil bana diya
Do phulon ka boj na utha sakti thi Mumtaz
Aur Shahjahan ne us per TAJMAHAL bana diya
Roti Hui Ankho me Intzar Hota hai,
Na Chahte Hue B Pyar Hota hai,
Q Dekte hai Hm Wo Sapne,
Jinke Tutne Pr B Unke Sach Hone Ka intzr Hota hai
Vo dil hi kya jo vaffa na kare,
Tujhe bhul kar jiyen khuda na kare,
Rahegi teri dosti meri jindgi ban kar,
Vo baat aur hai agar jindgi vaffa na kare.
Na gujarana aaj k din kisi masjid k pas se
kahi log chand samajhkar roja na tod de,
or hokar khafa Khuda tumse kahin,
Husn banana na chhod de.
Likha manjur kissmat ne khuda ko yaad kyaa karna,
jaha bedard haakim hoo wahaa fariyaad kyaa karna*
Husband: She does not satisfy me in bed.
Judge: Is it correct?
Wife: Sara mohalla khush hai, bas isike hi nakhre Hai.
Father went to school for getting report of his son.
Father: Madam kab dengi aap report?
Teacher: Periods khatam hone ke bad.
SUHAG RAAT WIFE: Piche nahi aage dalte hai
Sardar: Tuje kaise pata?
WIFE: Mera dost mere aage se dalta tha
Sardar: Chup kar mera dost mere pichhe dalta tha
Santa: Bhaisaab ek condom dena. Meine girl friend ko gift dena hai.
Dukandar: Is par cover chada du.
Santa: Arre nai yeh to cover hai gift to mere pass hai
Pakistani ladkiyon ke ( . ) ( . ) Boob's Bade kyon hote hain?
Kyun ki.... Wo aate-jaate har ek ko kehti hain- "AA DAAB"
What's the best family planning slogan on a Govt bus?
"Hum do hamare do" - No!
"Chota Pariwar Sukhi Pariwar" - No!
The answer is: "Kripya Peeche se Chadiye"
A girl was handling a boy's cock for the first time.
After some time few drops came out, she sked what's that?
Boy said: "Yeh khushi ke aansoo hai"
Lady says to Kelewala: Kabhi tight kele bhi rakh liya karo.
Kelewala: Kabhi khane ke liye bhi le liya karo.
Ek Ummeed ka Diya jal raha thaa jise Baarish ne bujha diya,
Tanaah akele khushi se jee rahe the kambakht unki Yaad ne rulaa diya..!.!
Ishq ne insan ko kya se kya bana diya
kisiko kavi to kisiko katil bana diya
Do phulon ka boj na utha sakti thi Mumtaz
Aur Shahjahan ne us per TAJMAHAL bana diya
Roti Hui Ankho me Intzar Hota hai,
Na Chahte Hue B Pyar Hota hai,
Q Dekte hai Hm Wo Sapne,
Jinke Tutne Pr B Unke Sach Hone Ka intzr Hota hai
Vo dil hi kya jo vaffa na kare,
Tujhe bhul kar jiyen khuda na kare,
Rahegi teri dosti meri jindgi ban kar,
Vo baat aur hai agar jindgi vaffa na kare.
Na gujarana aaj k din kisi masjid k pas se
kahi log chand samajhkar roja na tod de,
or hokar khafa Khuda tumse kahin,
Husn banana na chhod de.
Likha manjur kissmat ne khuda ko yaad kyaa karna,
jaha bedard haakim hoo wahaa fariyaad kyaa karna*
Thursday, November 5, 2009
2009 year best joke ever
I know you will laugh at this.*
Out of a bunch of millions of sperms, there was this one sperm named mosasa.
Mosasa was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and
even swimming. And when his friends asked him why was he doing these things
he said "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be
that one when the time comes". His friends would just laugh at him and pass.
The time for them to go out came and Mosasa outran all of them (I'm talking
millions of sperms) to the exit, as a matter of fact, there was a huge gap
between Mosasa and the rest.
All of a sudden the other guys saw Mosasa running back as fast as they have
ever saw him. As he passed them to an opposite direction they asked, "
Mosasa why are you running back, didn't you say you wanted to be the one",
and Mosasa breathlessly replied, "heh heh heh heh… "This fool is
masturbating."
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