Friday, April 12, 2013

Marriage Secrets (Don't Laugh)


My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...


Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.


We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Mumbai, mine is in Chennai.


I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.



I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"



We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.



She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.


My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."



My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!


She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...



She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...