Friday, April 12, 2013

Gates of Heaven


Michael, Francis and Ubaldo are standing at the Gates of Heaven being interviewed by St. Peter.

"Ok you, Michael, how many times did you cheat on your wife??"
"Let me be honest Peter. I've been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married life".
"Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there. Goodbye."
St. Peter turns to Francis, "How many times did you cheat on your wife??"
Francis replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years of marriage I did cheat on my wife twice."
St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that Honda Civic. Here are the keys. Get going!"
He then looks at Ubaldo, "And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife??"
Ubaldo lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!"
St Peter replies, "Very impressive. Your car in heaven is that BMW Z4-M Roadster convertible. Goodbye!"

Michael and Francis have driven off and are in a car park nearby waiting for their friend. Ubaldo turns up in his BMW but he is crying his heart out.

Michael asks, "Arrre! What's the matter with you? We should be crying. We're stuck with these cheaper models and you got an expensive BMW!"

Between sobs Ubaldo explains, "I just saw my wife driving a Nano!" 

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...