Friday, July 20, 2012

SEXY Definitions


THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female definition: Any part under a car's bonnet.
Male definition: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

LESBIAN (lez-bee-an) n.
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing soccer without shin pads.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.

COMMUNICATION (ko-muu-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's Partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with The lads.

BUM (bum) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes look bigger.
Male: The organ for mooning (and farting).

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's Girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Sex!!

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can Achieve.
Male: What women do while the man is shagging.

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...