Thursday, November 12, 2009

Only in America.

1. Only in America..... .can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America..... .are there handicap  parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America..... .do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America..... .do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America..... .do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America..... .do people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put  useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America..... .do people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America..... .do people buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America..... .do people use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America..... .do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...