Wednesday, June 10, 2009

SHIT

It was opening night at the Orpheum theatre and the Amazing hypnotist was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff. As the Amazing hypnotist took to the stage, she announced, ''Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'' The excitement was almost electric as the hypnotist withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat. ''I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations. ''
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, ''Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... ''.

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.


''Shit'' said the hypnotist. It took three weeks to clean up the theatre. ...

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...