Wednesday, May 28, 2008

NewlyWed couple

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So he said to his new wife,"Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" askedthe wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer. "

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to there frigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan,India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do and the only thing that hecould think of saying was

"Yes, loolie loolie...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying.

"You want a frozen glass puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of thefreezer so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband looking a bit pale said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'llbe right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But sweet honey... atthebar... you know... there's swearing dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words cutie pie?...

LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR GOD-DAMN FROZEN UGAND EAT YOUR MOTHERF**KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING NYWHERE! GOTIT

A**HOLE?" .... and they lived happily ever after.

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Ouch....

A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "...